First Verse, a journey through the Psalms: Psalm 18

Posted on November 18, 2014 by Jill English Johnston

I love you, Lord; you are my strength.
(Psalm 18:1, NLT)

She showed up with her superwoman cup.
She looked amazing. Beautiful hair. Gorgeous outfit. So put together.
“How are you?” I asked her.
“Fine,” she said.
But I could tell by the look on her face, she was anything but fine.

Fine
Too often we, when asked how we are doing, say fine.
As in “I’m fine,” “Just fine,” “Everything’s fine.”
But inside, we’re aching to tell the truth.
We are not fine.

We just had a huge fight with our significant other.
We’ve just been told someone we love dearly has the diagnosis of the big “C-word.”
We are faced with a decision to move an elderly parent into assisted living.
Or a parent has just passed away.
We just found out we have to relocate far away, away from family and friends.
Or we just moved into town and we don’t know anyone.
We’ve discovered we’re pregnant. And it’s not a good time. And we’re scared.
Or we’ve been told we cannot conceive. And it’s so unfair. Because we want a baby so badly.
Or our children fight constantly and no amount of cajoling, manipulating or begging seems to change their behavior.
Or one of our kids has been diagnosed with a learning disability.
Or our teenager lives in a constant state of rebellion.
Our boss refuses to give us time off for that special event.
Our car broke down.
Our utility bills run higher than the paycheck.
And everyone seems to want a piece of us. Our boss. The children’s ministry at church. The PTA. Our spouse. Our children. Our parents.

The list goes on. We try to hold it all together.
We would love to be strong. We think we’re supposed to be strong.

But we’re not.

Everything in our lives points to the truth of the fact.
And if it has not yet, it will.

We are not strong.

But our God is.
The Psalmist cries out “You are my strength!”

The Psalmist goes on to call our God:
Rock, Fortress, Savior, Protection, Shield, Power, Safety.
What an amazing list. He is the opposite of our weakness.

The Psalmist says:
“I called on the lord… and He saved me”
“in my distress I cried out to the Lord… He heard me”
“He rescued me”
“I was in distress, but the Lord supported me.”

Sweet Child of God. Do not try to hold it all together on your own strength. Do not believe the lies of the enemy that you have to do it all. Do not let fear, despair, and isolation hold you captive.
Cry out to our Heavenly Father who cares for us (1 Peter 5:7) and be honest with those the Lord has brought into our lives because they can share our burdens (Galatians 6:2).

Prayer
Father, I love You. You are my strength. I know I am not fine. Life is hard. Life hurts. Life is overwhelming. But nothing is too difficult for You. And Your grace is sufficient for me.  Show me how to abide in You every moment of every day, because I know apart from You I can do nothing.

Grace & Peace

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First Verse, a journey through the Psalms: Psalm 17

Posted on November 11, 2014 by Jill English Johnston

O Lord, hear my plea for justice. Listen to my cry for help.
Pay attention to my prayer, for it comes from honest lips.
(Psalm 17:1, NLT)

Have you noticed a common theme in the Psalms?  It almost seems as if the Scriptures are trying to teach us something.

About our condition.  About who God is.
About our inability. And about His ability.

We cry out for help.  We plea for God to listen and intervene.
If we are honest, we realize the quandary we are in, we understand our helplessness to get out of it.
If we are honest, we lay it all before Him.
Because we hope He will pay attention.

And He does, doesn’t He?
Our Heavenly Father hears the cry of a broken heart.
In His compassion and kindness, He is attracted to our brokenness.

His word calls us to come to him in raw honesty and brokenness:

The sacrifice you desire is a broken spirit.
You will not reject a broken and repentant heart, O God.
(Psalm 51:17)

“Don’t rip your clothes to show your sorrow.
Instead, turn back to me with broken hearts.
I am merciful, kind, and caring. I don’t easily lose my temper,
and I don’t like to punish.”
(Joel 2:13)

He heals the brokenhearted and bandages their wounds.
(Psalm 147:3)

How awesome is that?
He won’t reject us in our brokenness.
He is merciful, kind and caring.
He will heal our broken hearts.

I recently prayed with someone who seeks to serve the Lord in his life. He currently works in a position in an area he loves but is facing a situation of misunderstanding that could reflect negatively on his character.
He asked for prayer because he fears further misunderstandings. He truly wants nothing to hinder his ability to be a light in a dark place and to be a positive influence in the lives of those around him.
He came to us with a broken heart.

As we prayed, Psalm 17 came to mind.
Lord, hear (his) plea for justice. Listen to (his) cry for help.
Pay attention to (his) prayer, for it comes from honest lips.

Where is your heart broken? What do you need to pour out to the Lord, with complete honesty? Has the Lord revealed an area in need of repentance? Or in need of His healing?
Ask Him to listen. Cry to Him for help. Seek His attention and be honest when He gives it. Pray, because you know He will listen.

Father, You are merciful, kind and caring. Show us your unfailing love in wonderful ways. Guard our hearts, protect us, rescue us. Heal our brokenness so we may see You more clearly.

Grace & Peace

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First Verse, a journey through the Psalms: Psalm 16

Posted on October 28, 2014 by Jill English Johnston

Keep me safe, O God, for I have come to you for refuge.
(Psalm 16:1, NLT)

God has a funny way of not letting me acquire mere head knowledge.

Instead, He desires to change my heart with His transformational truth.

When I first read Psalm 16:1, I automatically ascribed it to physical safety.  You know, “Please God, keep me safe today.  And my family, my friends.  Protect us from car accidents.  And house fires, plane crashes, school shootings…”  The kinds of things we see constantly covered on news stations.  I cry out, “keep me safe, O God.”

But when I sat down to write this devotional, another kind of safety came to mind.  The kind of refuge we need for our hearts.  Because our hearts are often broken and in need of a safe place to go.  So, I wrote about crying out to God to protect our broken hearts.  I tied in other Scriptures having to do with the heart.  I provide my thoughts on keeping our hearts safe.  It was pretty good.   I thought.  Not good enough, apparently.  The Spirit compelled me to wait in posting it.

Then He asked me, “do you get it?”
Get it?  Of course I got it.  I wrote it, didn’t I?
He asked again, “do you get it?”
Maybe He thought I didn’t get it.

And, as He often does, God let me live it.
He allowed my heart to be broken.

Not a huge break.  But enough.

Enough so, that I didn’t come back to this verse for weeks.  I did not want to return to the devotional.  Because all my contrite comments, my well thought out answers, my nicely wrapped up Scriptures, were suddenly put to the test. I wrestled. I complained. I mourned. I raged.
And I came to the point where I had to ask:
What should I do with the disappointment?  the heartache? the hurt?

They don’t go away quickly.
So I turned again to Scripture.  His word says “When I am hurting, I find comfort in Your promise that leads to life.” (Proverbs 119:50)
I definitely was hurting. But was I finding comfort in His promise?
The Psalmist cries out, “Comfort me with Your love, just as You have promised.” (Proverbs 119:76)
Was I allowing Him to comfort me, or was I wallowing in my own self pity and woundedness?
Or worse. Was I entertaining unforgiveness or harboring resentment?

Would I be willing, like the Psalmist, to say “Look deep into my heart, God, and find out everything I am thinking.”  (Psalm 139:23)

His word definitely has a way of cutting deep, exposing thoughts, revealing sin.
Yes, I was wallowing, entertaining, and harboring.

So, how would the Lord have me respond?  Confession, for starters.  Choosing to forgive, of course.  But neither of those things guarantees relief from the pain.

They do however, set me on a path of healing and peace.
They give me a place to put the disappointment, heartache, and hurt.
They provide the means to work change in my heart with His transformational truth

I’d like to say I finally get it, but it’s more of a I am getting it.
As He provides a refuge for my heart.

Father, keep my heart safe.  Comfort me with Your love.  Give me transparency and vulnerability in the truth of Your word.  May it always illuminate and intervene where needed.  Expose my innermost thoughts and desires and let your Spirit renew my thoughts and attitudes.  Let me always bring it to You for refuge.

grace & peace

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Day 22 of Whole30

Posted on October 17, 2014 by Jill English Johnston

Day 22

Down to the last homestretch week.   The weekend, however will be a bit of a challenge.  I am attending the Moms in Prayer International Festival of Joy in Dallas, celebrating 30 years of moms coming together to pray for their children and their children’s schools.  I’m excited, but a bit apprehensive because I have no idea what the food selections will be.

I am packing my tea, my almond milk, some nuts, fruits and veggies, and a few Whole30 compliant treats to counter whatever sweets try to tempt me.

It Starts With Food wraps up with these final chapters:

Chapter 21: Fine Tuning for Special Populations

In my humble opinion, I think this chapter should be moved somewhere prior to chapter 17, where the authors of It Starts With Food encourage us to give the program a go.  I feel this way because:

1. there are those, like my main man (MM), who will jump in before finishing the book (I do appreciate his spontaneity) and

2. the chapter is a must read if you have certain health conditions.

So, if you’re diabetic, have autoimmune disease, irritable bowl syndrome, inflammatory bowel disease, or any known food allergies, take a quick look at this chapter before you start.  It provides suggestions, cautions and alterations to the program for your specific needs.

There is also a section for vegans/vegetarians, high intensity athletes, and pregnant/nursing women.

Chapter 22: Supplement Your Healthy Diet

Whole30 ensures we eat foods providing the essential building blocks needed for our body’s optimum function and maintenance.  However, It Starts with Food recognizes there may be areas we are still deficient.  So the authors outline a few supplements we might want to consider (they mention their preferred high quality brands) adding to our daily plan.

Appendix A: The Meal Map

A great resource for cooking up your choice of meat, poultry and seafood along with a list of extensive vegetable choices, providing various ways to cook and season them.  With all the combinations and variety, I could make a month’s worth of different meals.

To spice it up even more, it provides recipes for Whole30 mayo, bbq sauce, ranch dressing, etc.

Appendix B:  It Starts With Food Resources

Lists books and websites filled with additional gut healthy, micro and macronutrient dense meals for our better way of eating plan.

22 down, 8 to go.

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Day 20 of Whole30

Posted on October 15, 2014 by Jill English Johnston

Day 20

Ten days left.  Not to be discouraging, but there are extra days beyond the 30 required for the reintroduction phase.  Consider these days as the culmination of your science experiment.

Chapter 19: Reintroduction

I’ll soon reach day 30, but its definitely not the end.  An additional 12 days are required to slowly reintroduce each of the food groups, one at a time, in order to determine which ones might be the source of a health problem.

Day 1 – reintroduce legumes to the three meals.

Days 2-3 – return to Whole30 and evaluate.  Determine whether or not, and how much, legumes may be incorporated as a food choice

Day 4 – reintroduce non-gluten grains to the three otherwise Whole30 meals.

Days 5-6 – return to Whole30 and evaluate.  Determine whether or not, and how much, non-gluten grains may be incorporated as a food choice (keep in mind, they do not offer much by way of nutrients)

Day 7 – reintroduce dairy to the three otherwise Whole30 meals.

Days 8-9 – return to Whole30 and evaluate.  Determine whether or not, and how much, dairy products may reincorporated as a food choice (I really hope I can reincorporate cheese)

Day 10 – reintroduce gluten-containing grains to the three otherwise Whole30 meals.

Days 11-12 – return to Whole30 and evaluate.  Determine whether or not, and how much, gluten-containing grains may be incorporated as a food choice (for me, I will mostly choose not to, even if I can, because, along with sugar/sweeteners, I really think these contribute to my belly fat and I do not want it returning.)

Days 13+ this is where we, based on the results of our experiment, individualize the program our self.

Chapter 20:  Strategies for Long Term Success

Reminder by the authors of It Starts with Food:  “Whole30 is just a springboard into a lifetime of healthy eating habits.”

When the time comes and we find ourselves slipping back into old eating habits, do NOT consider it a failure.  Merely the point in which we reevaluate, recommit , and return to the new healthy eating habits we have learned.

Get rid of the idea of “cheating,” cheat days,” or tacking numbers to the way we eat (eating 90% healthy or following an 80/20 eating plan.)  Those ideas encourage us to make less than healthy choices.  Instead, remember, it is all about choices.  Choosing to eat healthy and choosing where, when and why we will enjoy the occasional guilt-free indulgence.

Overall

Two incredible meals.  My main man (MM) made sweet potato hash with fried eggs on top for breakfast.  Delicious.   Seemed indulgent.  But completely gut healthy.  Then we had shrimp scampi for dinner, with zoodles instead of angel hair pasta.   We used almond flour to coat the shrimp and fried them in olive oil.  Another delicious meal.

However, the next night was a bit challenging.  Attended a women’s fellowship at church. Stayed away from the dessert table.  Which wasn’t a problem –  until one of the gals at my table brought her plate over with the apple cake smothered in carmel.  Which wouldn’t have been a problem  – except she left the half eaten piece sitting next to me all evening, allowing me to smell the carmel sweet, cinnamon-y  aroma all evening.

AND.  A handful of hershey’s kisses had been scattered in the center of the table.

They were both a bit of distraction.  Especially when my stomach growled toward the end of the evening.  I did a mental check.  Yes I was hungry.  Did I want the sweet treats? (I had to ask myself, even though I knew I would not have any.)  I tried imagine eating either one (a bit of self torture) .  And neither one appealed to me on a palate level.

I decided when it came time to indulge, I think I would choose something different.  Even now, thinking about it, the old craving, longing, gotta-have- it feeling is not what it used to be.  Still thinking there might be something to the idea of sugar/sweet addictions.

Another great tip.  We have been using cauliflower rice in the place of regular rice for our asian dishes.  It is really good and on a whim I looked up the nutritional value of cauliflower.  It has an abundance of vitamin C and also a good amount of vitamin K.  Plus, it’s glycemic index is only 2, as apposed to white rice, which is over 20.  Good stuff.

20 down, 10 to go.

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