The door is closed. You thought it was open. That you’d be going through. You were excited about what was on the other side. Then suddenly, it slams in your face.
You stand and stare at it for a long time. Frustrated. Struggling with the reason. Even a angry at the ones who slammed it shut.
In Acts 16, Paul attempted to spread the gospel in parts of Asia and Turkey, only to have the way blocked (“the Spirit of Jesus would not allow them” it says). NT Wright says of this, “…weeks of wandering and walking, of wondering and praying…”
When the door slams shut, in can feel like that. Wandering. Walking. Wondering. Waiting. Why am I here? Why have I bothered? I thought I was supposed to be here and do this thing. So now what?
There’s more to Paul’s story. But I’m going to camp here for now. Because it’s where I’m at. Like Paul and his companions and the lengthy trek across the continent. Not sure what’s up. Frustrated. Struggling. And praying. Hoping that that I, too, get a clearer vision of where to go next.