tablets of human hearts

Only fools say in their hearts, “There is no God.”
They are corrupt, and their actions are evil; not one of them does good!
(Psalm 14:1, NLT)

Isn’t it easy to read this verse and respond, “yes, they are fools who don’t believe in God.  Look at their behavior.  They are bad.  They are evil.  They don’t do anything good.”  We put them under a microscope, analyze their behavior and find them wanting.  Then we place ourselves on our pedestal of righteousness, proud that we are not fools, like they are.

But let’s take a slice of our own heart and put it under the microscope.  Where in my life have I said “there is no God?”  maybe not in those specific words, but by my deeds, my indifference, my thoughts and attitudes, my lack of action.  Where have I had the appearance of godliness, but denying its power in the way I love and live?

Oswald Chambers, in My Utmost for His Highest, states: “Unless we are experiencing the hurt of facing every deception about ourselves, we have hindered the work of the Word of God in our lives.”  He speaks of Jesus’ questions to Peter (calling him by his birth name) “Simon, son of John, do you love me?”  (John 21:17)  Three times he asked Peter.  Three times Peter answered, “Yes Lord, you know I love you.”  Each time becoming more hurt.  Jesus responded each time with a task, “Feed my sheep.”  Jesus didn’t just want an emotional ascension of Peter’s love.  Jesus wanted to see it in action.  He entrusted Peter with the work of taking care of the flock after He left.  He entrusted Peter to love his brothers in the way Jesus loved them.

And He wants the same for us.  He asks us “do you love me?”  and He entrusts us with the work He has given us and He entrusts us with those He has brought into our lives.  But too often, we act as if there is no God, we act as if He has not tasked us or called us to love.  We act as fools.

I must ask myself, where have I not let the word of God pierce my heart, as it did Peter’s, judging its thoughts and attitudes, exposing its desires and intentions (Hebrews 4:12)? Where am I at risk of denying the very thing Christ calls me too and putting myself at risk of becoming a fool, knowing God, but not honoring Him, instead, allowing my foolish mind to be filled with darkness?  (Romans 1:21)

Father, I confess my own foolishness.  It is so easy for me to read your word and see flecks in my brother’s eye or stand in judgment of those who do not know you, without ever asking the Spirit to reveal the log in my own eye or the foolishness in my own heart (Matthew 7:3).  Please remove from me this heart of stone and give me a heart of flesh, (Ezekiel 36:26).  Please create in me a clean heart and renew a faithful, obedient spirit in me (Psalm 51:10).

grace & peace

O Lord, how long will you forget me? Forever?
How long will you look the other way?
(Psalm 13:1, NLT)

The silence of heaven.  The dark night of the soul.  The desert place.  We hurt.  We cry out to God.  But we wonder if He has forgotten us.  We believe He is sovereign, yet it seems as if He is no longer looking at us in our circumstances.  We pray.  We persist like the widow in Jesus’ story (Luke 18:1-9), waiting for the Lord to answer, trusting He hears us as His word promises (1 John 5:14-15).   But we receive no reply.  No indication we have been heard.  We wonder how long.

A short time ago our new community minister at Oak Hills Church talked to some of the community leaders and in the midst of his discussion he made a  simple comment about growth occurring in the trenches.  His comment resonated with me because, recently, when asking the Lord what I had to write about, what I could pass on to others, He reminded me of the trenches.   But what about the trenches?  I thought about the many uplifting stories I hear and what sometimes discourages me about them.  Books, stories and testimonies often highlight the successes but gloss over the trenches.  We like to hear about  the mountain top experiences and the miraculous answer to prayers, except when it seems that, for us, heaven is silent, and God has looked the other way.

Throughout of my naval career (and subsequently, my christain adult life) I often prayed for women encouragers.  Don’t get me wrong, the Lord brought some amazing women into my life over the years.  But I longed for the encouragers, the ones who speak life into our lives, who have just the right word of wisdom or insight, who are bold enough to point out when we are in error, who put their arms around us and tell us we are loved with an infinite love and that we will make it.  I prayed.  I prayed some more.  But heaven seemed silent.

Those years seemed like a long walk in the trenches.  But, looking back, I realize, might it be, He allowed me time in the trenches, because in the trenches is when we really grow.

It wasn’t until the past few years that the floodgates of heaven finally opened and those prayers thought to have fallen on silent ears have poured out with incredible answers.  I stand in  awe.  I am amazed.  I am humbled.  And I am thankful beyond words.  Had my years been filled with these women, I might have thought it commonplace, just part of everyone’s christian experience.  But sadly, we know it to not often be the case..  And knowing that, I cherish it all the more.

God had not forgotten me.  He was not looking the other way.  He was watching me suffer and grow.  He was teaching me how to lean on Him, to be encouraged by His Spirit and not depend on the words of men and women.   And like He promises, I’m not to grow weary and give up doing what is good.  When I don’t lose heart in the trenches, when I trust in Him, I will reap the harvest in His perfect time.

Father, when it seems you have forgotten me and looked the other way, remind me of your great and many promises.   When I walk in the desert place, when the night is dark, and heaven is silent, strengthen my heart for what you are teaching me.  Thank you, Father,  that you love me enough to give me time and room to grow before reaching the mountain top.

grace & peace

Help, O Lord, for the godly are fast disappearing!
The faithful have vanished from the earth!
(Psalm 12:1, NLT)

When you look around, do you feel as if the godly are fast disappearing?  Do you feel that the faithful have vanished from the earth?  If you watch the news, do you lament, the righteous are a dwindling minority?  Do you wonder if it can get any worse?

I wonder, though, is the state of humanity any different than it ever has been?  Might every generation before us , like the Psalmist,  also had the same lament?  If there had been been 24/7/365 news 100 years ago, 500 years ago, or even 2000 years ago, would it have seemed as if God-fearing people were in short supply.  After all, the Bible tells of murder occurring within the very first family.   And, as Scripture documents, it only grew worse.  Atrocities fill the pages of history.  Wars, invasions, genocide, child sacrifice, slavery, oppression, human trafficking, the list goes on.  Surely, in the midst of these horrific moments, cries of the suffering rose to heaven and those who loved God must have felt the godly had disappeared and the faithful vanished from the earth.  The same suffering continues on around the world today and cries still rise to heaven just as they did in ages past.

But when we only see the bad, focus only on the the ugly, and zero in on the brutal, we miss the beauty, the joy, the love that has existed and still exists today.  What might make us look around and miss God’s people being about God’s work?

I’m reading the book Draw the Circle by Mark Batterson with some incredible ladies from our Moms in Prayer International state team and area coordinators.  Each Friday we join together on a conference call to discuss our week of reading.  In chapter eleven: First-Class Noticer, the author made the statement, “We don’t see the world as it is; we see the world as we are.”  I found the comment intriguing and it caused some introspection.

If I’m only noticing the negative in the world around me, is it because there really is only negative, or might it be a reflection of my heart?  How can I be so discontent in my fairly comfortable life while some live in what others would consider squaller and yet still see the incredible beauty and hope around them?  How might a women dedicated to work with the poorest of poor be able to say “Let us always meet each other with smile, for the smile is the beginning of love,” instead of complaining about the circumstances?  How can I shift the way I see the world around me?

I first must begin with prayer and ask the Lord for my heart to be flooded with His light (Ephesians 1:18), I must also give thanks to the Lord, remembering He is good in the midst of it all and His love endures forever, regardless of the circumstances (Psalm 107:1), and then I need to look around and see where the Lord is working and who it is He has working.  For indeed, there are many who love the Lord and every day are being about His work, whether reaching out to a neighbor or serving overseas in war torn countries.  The Lord has raised up many and truly, the faithful are not disappearing.

Father, teach me to say as the Psalmist also said “I am confident I will see the LORD’s goodness while I am here in the land of the living,” and give me eyes to see Your people and Your work they are about every day.

Grace & Peace.

I trust in the Lord
So why do you say to me,
“Fly like a bird to the mountains for safety!
(Psalm 11:1, NLT)

When I was a young sailor, stationed on Cubi Point Naval Air Station, Philippines, I regularly visited the Overseas Christian Servicemen’s Center (the organization is now called Cadence International).   It was located right outside the main gate and every Sunday evening, military families gathered  to share a meal and worship together.  Many single military members made the center a home away from home and we enjoyed doing different things together.  Bible study, movies, late night discussions at a nearby base restaurant, hiking, games, and many other activities.

Although it was not a common practice, one evening we hit the local community for street ministry and evangelism.  The bar lined streets of Olongopo were always crowded outside the gates, filled with sailors out on liberty.  This was the case that night as well.  We weren’t looking to engage with the locals, but rather approached our fellow military men and women.  One encounter stands out in my memory.  The caucasian couple I approached were not military, I think they were a middle aged couple on vacation in the Philippines.  When I stepped up to them, the woman didn’t give me any time to present the gospel, but rather interrupted me with her concern, thinking I was out on the streets by myself.

“Honey,” she said sweetly, “you shouldn’t be out here by yourself.”

“Oh, I”m not,” I said, meaning that I was out there with a group of friends.

But before I could explain, she took my hand and patted it kindly,  “I know Jesus is with you dear, but you still shouldn’t be out her alone.  It’s not safe.”

I laughed to myself as she and her husband walked away.  And I still smile when I think of her comment.

I must admit, however, her confidence in my trust in Jesus is sometimes greater than my confidence in my trust in Jesus.  While I really wasn’t concerned that particular night, because my friends were close by, there are often times when I am afraid. The voices around me might not say “Fly like a bird to the mountains for safety!” but they may be saying “You won’t succeed,” “You’re crazy to think if you think you can do that,” or “You really mess everything up, you should just quit.”

Those are the moments when I need to say out loud, “I trust the Lord,” and press on to whatever the Lord has called me to do.

What are the words you hear?  How do you respond?

Father, You did not give us a spirit of fear or timidity, but Your Spirit of power, of love, and self discipline.  May I always respond with “I trust the Lord” and never give heed to the lies of the enemy, the negative words of others or my own self doubt.

Grace & Peace

“O Lord, why do you stand so far away?
Why do you hide when I am in trouble?”
(Psalm 10:1, NLT)

Does God move?

In my Christian discipleship, I had been taught that our holy God cannot be in the presence of sin.  For a long time I accepted that idea as fact.  I’m sure there were proof texts given to me then that seemed to support it.   So, I believed it.   But, I wonder, if God is in a place and sin shows up, does He move?

I had never really thought too much about it over the years, because according to my faith tradition, Christ paid the penalty for my sin and therefore I, made clean by Christ’s sacrifice, can enter God’s presence.  I just had to make sure I confessed my sins in my prayers.

I was also taught that God turned His back on Jesus the day He hung on the cross.  Because Jesus bore the sins of the world, and since our holy God cannot be in the presence of sin, He had to abandon His Son that day.   So, I wonder, if God is in a place and sin shows up, does He turn His back?

In the struggles, trials, lows, and disappointments life often brings, I often wondered, why did the Lord seem so far away?  Was He hiding when I was in trouble?

Recently, I read a book that, in one chapter, explored that very idea.  In He Loves Me, Wayne Jacobsen, asks “Could the Faithful One be unfaithful to his Son at his darkest moment?”

He asks this because of the way Jesus’ cry on the cross “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” has often been taught.   That God indeed turned His back on His Son.

But, Jacobsen rejects the idea that God moved, that God turned His back.  Instead, he says, “Of course not.  Even when Jesus told his disciples that they would all leave him alone, he said he would not be alone for the Father was with him.  I don’t believe for a minute that the Father forsook the Son.  But there could be a vast difference here between what God did and what Jesus perceived.  Jesus undoubtedly felt forsaken, but that doesn’t mean he actually was.”¹

He goes on to say “It is likely at the moment on the cross when God’s wrath was consuming the sin he had become, he couldn’t even see the Father with whom he had shared fellowship through all eternity.  Sin blinded him, and he felt as if God had forsaken him.”

Might that also be true, to a lesser degree, of us? Remember, the Psalms are a cry of the heart.  Might the Psalmist, in the midst of the trouble, only feel as if God was standing far away, that He had hidden Himself?  Might we, also, in the midst of trouble, feel the same way?  Our troubles blinding us and making us feel forsaken.

What a joy to know that our loving Father does neither.  He does not leave us or forsake.  Even when we feel that way, we can confidently say, as the Psalmist declared in the end, “Surely you will hear my cry and comfort my heart by helping me.”

Father, when the darkness closes in, may I still say, “blessed be Your name,” because you never leave me, never forsake me, never leave me in times of trouble.

grace & peace

¹Wayne Jacosen, He Loves Me, pg 126